


Without Me

by CRYptidSpaceKid



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Before Lion Switch, Blood, Character Death, Flowers, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Vomiting, hanahaki, suffocation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 02:54:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16109303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CRYptidSpaceKid/pseuds/CRYptidSpaceKid
Summary: Blood was supposed to stay inside a person's body, but that wasn't always the case. Wounds, fatal or just a scraped knee could cause external bleeding. So could diseases, such as the one Keith wound up with: Hanahaki.





	1. Prologue

Keith sat on the floor of the bathroom, hunched over the Altean-version of a toilet, heaving. Blood spilled over his lips, flower petals tumbling out of his mouth. Had it been a painting, it would have been beautiful and unique, but alas, it was lethal. The petals of the forget-me-nots and petunias were coated in the thick substance keeping Keith alive, which would be concerning to just about everyone. Well, everyone but the people suffering from the disease.

This had become a near daily thing for Keith now. Have intense feelings of unrequited love wash over him, and sneak away from the group to empty his lungs of petals. So far, nobody has asked about Keith's sudden disappearances, and he had been battling his body for a good long while.

The more Keith thought about it, the more disturbing the disease became. The sharp sting of stomach acid coming up couldn't compare to the burning of the flower petals forcing their way from his lungs.

How the Hanahaki disease came to be, Keith didn't care to know, but he did know that its creator was a twisted person. Evolution was often used to strengthen the ones worthy of survival and kill the weak. This was a sick form of evolution, though it hardly meant anything to say anymore.

Keith leaned back, finally able to breathe again. For how long, he couldn't tell you. All he knew was that he was edging closer and closer to the final stages of the disease. Keith was dying and leaving behind nothing but a beautiful yet horrifying mess.


	2. Chapter 1

"Hey, Keith! Where were you during training? It's unlike you to miss out," Hunk asked, catching up to Keith, who had been walking down the hall to his room.

"I...wasn't feeling too well this morning. I'm still not at 100% though, so I'm going to go and rest," Keith lied.

"Aw, I hope you feel better. If you need anything, just ask me through the comms," Hunk smiled, patting Keith's shoulder and heading back to his own room. Keith smiled at Hunk's kindness, before slipping into his room. Keith let out a series of coughs that he had been holding back, blood speckling the floor in front of him. _'Oh well, it wouldn't be the first time,'_ Keith thought to himself. Realizing with disgust that the blood had gotten onto his shirt, he quickly slipped it off.

The long cuts from his nails and knife stuck out against his pale skin. Keith hesitantly touched them, sighing in discontent. He had desperately tried to tear himself apart a while ago when he first realized he had the disease. It hadn't gone well and had just spilled unnecessary blood across the floor. It did nothing to save him, obviously, since he was still alive and stuck with the disease.

Slipping a new, clean shirt over his head, despite knowing blood would probably get on it later anyway, Keith sat on his bed and stared at his knife. He carefully unwrapped the cloth covering the Galran mark and frowned. Maybe his life would have been different had his mother stayed with him. Maybe he wouldn't have ever met Lance and fallen in love with the Casanova. Maybe Keith would have had a chance of living.

"Best to not dwell on the past," Keith muttered to himself, before lying in his bed, holding a cup of what resembled tea. Sipping from the warm mug, Keith zoned out, happily enjoying his own world. He only came back to the real world when he dropped his mug on the floor and lurched to the side. It felt like his throat was being torn apart, blood becoming a waterfall from his mouth. A few small, delicate petals of a forget-me-not dropped to the floor before being followed by entire forget-me-nots and petunias. 

Keith's vision grew dark with each gasping breath. The flowers kept coming up, and Keith kept struggling to take in the slightest bit of oxygen. 'Is this it?' Keith wondered, 'is this where I die?' Keith failed to notice the pounding on his door as he fell into the welcoming arms of unconsciousness.


	3. Chapter 2

"Is he going to be okay?" Shiro asked, his hand settled on Keith's shoulder.

"I-I wish I could give you an answer, but I really do not know," Allura said with a small frown.

"Sh-Shiro?" Keith asked, opening his eyes slightly. Shiro stood next to him, giving him a small, comforting smile.

"Hey, you're okay." Whether that was for him or Shiro, Keith had no idea.

"What happened?" Keith uttered, forming words still rather difficult on his abused throat.

"Hunk heard something break in your room, and he went to go check on you. He found you unconscious with blood and flower petals coming out of your mouth," Shiro sighed. "Why didn't you say anything to me?"

"I...I didn't want you to ever have to find out," Keith muttered, his eyes looking anywhere but the concerned looks from the people in the room with him. He couldn't stare at their pitiful expressions. He didn't want their pity, but it was in their nature to give it out so freely.

"Keith, you know that you could die!" Shiro protested, tears welling up in his eyes. "Y-you're my little brother. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd move on. You'd grieve but get back to daily life because that's just how things work. You need to pick yourself up after you get knocked down," Keith said, finally glancing over to his brother-figure.

"You're pretty damn good at giving advice, but you seem to be awful at following it," Shiro chuckled, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Keith, I...I know you're probably not going to want the surgery to save you if that'd even possible to do in space, but I'm not ready to say goodbye to you yet.

"Shiro, I'm sorry. I'd rather die still being able to love him that to live a life without him," Keith said with a sad smile.

"I figured," Shiro said, copying that same sad smile. "Just promise me that you'll take it easy. And I want you to make an effort to confess to him."

Keith nodded, though he knew that last part wouldn't go over well with Lance. He'd claim they were rivals, and that he'd never be able to love someone like Keith, though Keith wouldn't blame him. In the long run, confessing wouldn't end well.

Keith, Shiro, and Allura's attention turned to the speakers when the siren went off. "I guess I'll have to hold off on that promise for a little while longer, though."


	4. Chapter 3

"What took you guys so long?" Lance asked, glaring at Keith through the camera displayed above the dashboard.

"Got a little caught up," Keith huffed, Red hovering next to Black. "What matters is that we're here now."

"Paladins, focus! There don't seem to be too many ships at the moment, but be wary. They could call backup," Allura warned, the particle barrier surrounding the castle.

"On it, Princess," Shiro said. Black let out a ferocious roar at the cruisers. The five lions charged into battle, firing and tearing apart the ships. In what seemed to be the blink of an eye, all the ships had been defeated.

"Check in, everybody," Allura called, watching from the castle as the Lions headed back.

"Alive, yet fearful," Hunk commented.

"Here," Pidge huffed, exhaustion in her voice.

"Did you really think I'd be going anywhere, Princess?" Lance asked.

"Here," Shiro answered.

A moment passed before Allura called out, "Keith? Are you there?" A few more moments passed before they were given a response.  
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," Keith finally answered.

"Why'd you leave us hanging?" Lance asked, " I thought something might have happened to you." It was with a teasing tone, sending a piercing shock through Keith's heart.

"Sorry," Keith panted, blood dribbling down his chin. Keith turned off incoming video calls, trying to hide the evidence of the disease. It was bad enough that they had to find out, let alone Hunk be the first one to see. Must have been hard on the poor guy. "Let's just get back to the castle."

Once the lions were back in their hangars, Shiro dropped by Keith's room to check on him. "You doing alright?" Shiro asked, sitting next to Keith on his bed.

"As good as I can get when I'm slowly being torn apart by flowers in my lungs," Keith quipped. "Sorry, I'm... not that funny," Keith sighed, after receiving a pointed glare from Shiro.

"Keith, this is serious."

"You think I don't know that?" Keith spat. "I--sorry. I'm just a little on edge and all."

"No, no I... I get it," Shiro sighed, his arm wrapping around Keith's shoulders. "You shouldn't have to put up with this with all the stuff you've already been through."

"Fate's obviously got other plans," Keith muttered under his breath. Shiro just shook his head and pulled his brother closer to him. Keith rested his head on Shiro's shoulder, the older settling his head on top of the younger's head. Their eyes drifted shut, falling asleep together for the last time.


	5. Chapter 4

Keith clawed at the floor, curling up on himself. Shiro blinked away the sleep, immediately pushing himself to the floor to hold his brother. "Hey, hey, Keith!"

Tears were streaming from Keith's eyes, his mouth opened wide in an attempt to get more oxygen to his lungs. Keith's frail body shook as he coughed, droplets of blood and flower petals coating the ground in front of him. "Coran!" Shiro yelled. He desperately called for a few more moments, before gathering his dying brother up in his arms and rushing to the med bay. Coran glanced up, immediately jumping into action when he saw how panicked Shiro was with Keith in his arms.

"Over here," Coran said, gesturing to a bed for Shiro to set Keith on. "The pods can't heal this, so we'll have to do this the old-fashioned way," Coran mumbled, talking more to himself than to Shiro or Keith. He grabbed what seemed to be an Altean device to assist with breathing, and hooked Keith up to it. Keith struggled slightly but didn't have enough strength to push Coran away. Coran pulled Shiro off to the side, trying to shield Keith from how close he is to death. "There isn't much else we can do for him. I'm sorry, but we'll just have to hope that this works until we can find a more permanent solution."

"I understand. Thanks, Coran, for trying," Shiro said, glancing back at his brother. "If you could keep an eye on Keith while I tell the other paladins. They deserve to know what's going on." Coran nodded and watched Shiro walk out of the med bay.

"Princess, can you call everyone to the control room? I need to address something," Shiro asked once he found Allura.

"I--sure, but do you mind telling me what's going on?" She asked.

"You'll know soon enough," Shiro said, struggling to keep up this facade that this isn't breaking him on the inside.

"Paladins, I need all of you to meet in the control room. I repeat, paladins to the control room." After a few minutes, the remaining three paladins came into the control room.

"Where's Keith?" Lance asked, smirking slightly, "I guess Mr. Perfect isn't so perfect after all."

"This is... how do I say this. This whole meeting is about Keith, actually," Shiro said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Keith, he's...he's dying."

A moment of silence and disbelief passed over the paladins, save for Hunk. "I figured the moment I saw him hanging off his bed and coughing up blood something was up. I-I just thought maybe things would get better."

"Shiro, what exactly is going on? Keith's dying, but that doesn't tell us anything. Can't we just put him in a pod?" Pidge asked, stepping forward.

"He has the disease, Hanahaki. We only just figured it out, and this morning, he could barely breathe. He's currently in the med bay, alive, but I don't know for how much longer. I think it's best to say your goodbyes to him while he's still around to hear them." Shiro wiped tears that had spilled over and onto his cheeks.

The paladins nodded and shuffled their feet towards to med bay. Nobody wanted to have to say their goodbyes but they wanted to get there before it was too late. Despite teasing Keith more than they probably should have, he was still the Red Paladin. He was still their friend. Nobody wanted to see him die.

They trickled into the med bay, Keith weakly turning his head and smiling. He couldn't speak, even though he desperately wanted to greet his fellow paladins. His throat was to beat up from hacking up flowers. "Hey, buddy," Lance said, frowning. "I um, I don't want to have to be the one to start, but we all know where this is heading." Keith nodded, agreeing and encouraging Lance to continue. "I um, you were a great rival, you know? You always fought back, kept a good challenge. And even if I never acted like it, I've always appreciated you as a friend."

"Thank you, Keith. For putting up with us nutjobs," Pidge joked, crying through her smile. "Despite not knowing anything that I ramble about, you always listen. That's all I could have ever asked for."

"I'm glad I was given the opportunity to be launched into space with all of you guys. I'll admit, you've grown on me, Keith. I appreciate your help in the kitchen when I needed it, and I'm thankful that you've always tried your hardest," Hunk cried, gently pulling Keith into a hug.

"I'm glad I found you back at the Garrison. You're the best little brother I could have ever asked for. You willingly threw yourself into danger, not just for me, but for all of us. You've taken on every struggle that's been thrown your way, and you've fought your way through it. I'm gonna miss you, little buddy," Shiro said with a sad smile.

"I know we didn't really start off on the best foot, but I do believe we've grown a little closer. I know I'm often harsh on you all, and I regret it now. I don't quite understand what is happening to you, but I have picked up that it is unlikely that you will survive this. I wish we could have gotten to be better friends than how we are now, and I can only hope that you'll forgive me for how I've treated you," Allura pleaded, looking Keith in the eyes. Keith nodded his head, the corners of his mouth quirking up slightly.

"I've already said what needed to be said while you were making your way over here," Coran said, patting Keith's arm. "Now we just need to make his final moments the best we can."


	6. Chapter 5

It was a dreary day on Arus, suiting the mood of everyone. All the people that had joined forces with Voltron, everyone they had helped, was here. It may have been a bad idea since the Galra could easily attack them, but they couldn't find it in themselves to care.

The remaining paladins and Alteans stood by the casket, the rest of the people sitting around the casket. "Today is a solemn day, for the Red Paladin, Keith, has passed away," Shiro said, standing tall in front of the crowd. Red let out small, sad rumbled from her spot behind the former Red Paladin's casket. "He was a brave soldier, a good friend, and my brother. He will be missed, but he would want us to push onward."

"Keith was our resident emo paladin," Pidge said, stepping forward. "Despite this, he still showed that he cared in the smallest ways. He would carry me to my room when I had fallen asleep decoding something, or talk mechanics with Hunk. He became part of our new family up here in space. But as Shiro said, he'd want us to keep pushing forward."

"He was my rival. We would constantly fight and argue over who was the better fighter, the better pilot, the fastest, the coolest. Somewhere in that arguing, it became something more to him. I hate to say it, but out mullet-headed paladin had gotten a human disease that sprouts from one-sided love. He had managed to fall in love with me, despite how awful I was to him. Whether he was just plain old stupid, or he could see the good in me, I don't know. I don't think I ever will, but it became something more to me too. I was too blind to see it, and I only noticed once it was too late. I'll never stop regretting that," Lance grinned sadly.

Everyone got to spend their final moments with Keith before he was put ten feet under. Pidge hid her face in Shiro's side and sobbed. Shiro kept a brave face for everyone, but it wasn't hard to tell that he was breaking on the inside too. Allura stood tall, arms behind her back. Coran and Hunk were knelt by the spot Keith had just been buried, looking down to hide their tears. Lance glanced at the sky, smiling. He knew part of Keith was still out there somewhere. Despite all his mistakes, he felt that Keith would forgive him. Today was a solemn day, but there was hope for the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire story was stretched out over the span of roughly two months (which is better than what I've got or a story that's pushing one year). I've cried a lot throughout the writing of this story, and listening to sad songs while going over it probably wasn't my best idea.


End file.
